It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My room smells like vodka and shame
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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