I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
