I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My dick has a subreddit
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
