clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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