That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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