I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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