you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
