Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
