Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
