He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
