Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
