so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
