awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
