Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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