We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
