Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
How external is "for external use only"?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
