No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
