dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
