took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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