dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
