Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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