Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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