You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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