So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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