just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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