I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
