fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
