If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
ugly people sure do ruin things
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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