I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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