she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
