I wish I only lived at night.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You need a sexual gate keeper
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
