I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
50% drunk capacity currently
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
