I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
