You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
