If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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