How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
