Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Sorry about my life...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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