Me. At least after what I've been through.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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