did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
