Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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