I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
