Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
