Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
