Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
