u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
