At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
