It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
