I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
