She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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