i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
