We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
