maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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