My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
